Clinging
by Wingsister
Summary: Sad oneshot. Please R&R.


**Disclaimer-- Anything that you recognize is not mine. **

The blaring wind pounded against the nailed shutters, sending the echoing sound against the door to my pathetically small bedroom.

My loneliness seemed to only reflect the depressing colors of the decaying walls. I wanted to cry. I _needed_ to cry, and yet I didn't. Crying never solved anything, and it never would.

The sudden noise of thunder startled me so that I dropped the sharp knife that was held tightly in my clean bloodless hand.

The slight fall of it made the cold metal of the double bladed knife vibrate against the rotting wood. Only a small sound was emitted. I took a long breath, and immediately scents of disease and death engulfed my intensified senses.

Overwhelming stenches of blood came from my sliced hand. I watched the rivers of scarlet flow down my wrist and arm leaving dark stains of red,then silently fell in droplets onto the floor.

The air around me was so cold, and so very painful . . . it seemed to choke out any emotions that could have been recognizable.

I would have thought that maybe I was apathetic, if it was not for the horrible ache deep in my heart.

The pounding rain seemed to agree with me as the dull thud of it seemed to get louder with every drop.

I picked up the blade that I had dropped earlier and savored the searing pain, as I slid the knife across my palm, where already scars and fresh cuts covered the soft flesh.

I desired to slash my wrist. To finally end this horrible feeling of loathing I have for myself, but I knew that this is what I deserved, pain and grief. Not for what I did, but for what I didn't do.

I deserve nothing, especially life, but to end my miserable being, would be freedom from the cruelty of life, and that is the last thing I deserve. The distant noise of the shutters seemed to become louder with every moment.

It was getting to be annoying.

After a few moments I realized that it was my door. I panicked, and once again dropped my knife. I quickly covered my hand, and pushed my long and ragged graying hair behind my ear.

Only one person knew where I was, so I shoved open the door, to a huge midnight-colored dog, his eyes were a glowing, vibrant green. I instantly moved out of his way, hiding my hand from his sight while at the same time I masked my pain and sorrows.

The dog hastily transformed into my long time friend, Sirius. His eyes were darkened and miserable, while his wet hair was plastered against his unearthly pale face.

Instantly I am at his side, my hands covering his shoulders, turning his body to face mine. I grabbed his hand and brought him over to the pathetic couch that is mine.

Using my wand to light up the room, I see his expression, and cringe, knowing I forgot to dry my hand of the blood, that was now dripping from his hand.

He looked at me, his eyes hurt, and this time it was his hands on my shoulders, his intense, black eyes looking into mine.

His breath was hot against my mouth.

"Remus" That one word was filled with such pain, and hurt me so much that I waited for a lecture, words of disdain, anything but what happened next.

He leaned his face into mine to meld our lips together. He smiled slightly against my lips. It had been so long since I had seen a smile grace his lips, and to my surprise I felt the same smile tugging against my own mouth.

He pulled away, and wrapped his arms around me to pull me closer, and for a long time we stayed like that. Just holding each other. It was then I noticed he was crying. Silent tears, and for the first time in many years, I cried with him.

I felt his arms tighten around me, as if he was afraid to let go. I did the same. He kissed me once more, and pulled me down to sleep beside him on the couch.

All that night we never once let the other one go. We both knew, this would be the very first, and sadly last time we could ever sleep in each others arms.

**If you see any mistakes, please do tell me. Thank you for reading, even if you didn't review. This is a one-shot. There will be no sequel. **


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